And we here at MME can't wait to see dreamfloat Harry Styles up on the big screen
The 3D effect means it is like the other One Directions have jumped out and are hiding behind you Image: 'one direction 299' http://www.flickr.com/photos/29103849@N00/6697622121
The film, which is to be made by Disney, is set to be released next year and will include a "Lads On Tour" section, featuring some of their wildest stories, such as the time Niall told twitter:
Just seen a guy pulled in on the M1 right on the start of a slipway! Just goin for a wee where everyone can see him ! Not even hiding
Hahaha! With banter like that, we can't wait to see the full 192 minute long feature film. Sad news though for fans who were hoping to see some of Disney's most famous characters: a spokesman said Mickey Mouse won't be making an appearance, although he did offer us some excitement by promising that it will be "lightsabers all round".
Although plot details have yet to be announced, a 'Harry Styles Dreamboat' Disneyland ride has been revealed, with a section on the Disneyland website reading: "Let Harry's log flume take you on a musical adventure of pounding rhythm but, watch out, you'll get drenched at the end!"
The 'Harry Styles Dreamboat' ride will be aimed at ages five and up.
With the release of their second album, we take a look at our favourite hits so far
One Direction performing early hit 'You Are Tearing Me Apart Lisa', from the soundtrack to 'The Room" Image: 'One Direction' http://www.flickr.com/photos/76753780@N02/7073562169
One Direction have only released five singles so far (although future hit 'Little Things' will be out soon), which is a perfectly valid reason for any musical website or blog to arrange them into some sort of order and call it a "Top 5", although One Direction are so sexy and dreamy (yet still marketable to a younger 'Disney" audience) that really all of their songs are our favourites.
5. 'More Than This'
This amazing and charming ballad only made it to number 86 on the charts, which is really really bad, even old and practically dead people like Gary Barlow can probably get a higher number than that. Luckily for One Direction, there are still some fans of the song, such as YouTube's own Casey White, who (for real) wrote:
"I'm a guy, and I'm not gay. But 1D honestly is very talented. Whoever doesn't like them does not know good music! :)"
Forty people gave that a thumbs up within 17 hours.
4. 'Gotta Be You'
In a clever move to target not just teen girls, but also their mothers, One Direction wear a selection of outfits here that could either be from Topman or Marks & Spencer, making dreamboat Harry Styles look really amazing with all his hair, which makes the song good.
3. 'One Thing'
One thing that makes One Direction so unique and good is that all their songs have really nice melodies that no one has ever heard before ever.
2. 'Live While We're Young'
When this song was released, some people said the guitar riff sounded quite a lot like a song by The Clash, which was not very nice and made lots of true fans say that was wrong. This was backed up by dreamgoat Harry Styles, who told the BBC that: "It's kind of on purpose though", because as we all know, plagiarism on purpose doesn't count.
1. 'What Makes You Beautiful'
Not just the best song by One Direction, but quite possibly the best song of all time. This completely original hit which doesn't sound like anything else was the single that introduced most of the world to dreamcoat Harry Styles and his friends, who are now so famous that they might even be playing at the White House =/ Please don't steal our One Direction America!!!
31 year old presenter is now "too old" to appeal to 15 - 29 age group of target audience
Fearne Cotton (left) in younger years with fellow ageing star Marina (of Diamonds fame) in 2011 Image: 'Fearne & Marina' http://www.flickr.com/photos/26674411@N00/4633019177
Not content with refusing to play "irrelevant" and "really old, like properly ancient" singer Robbie Williams' chart-topping hit 'Candice', Radio 1 have continued their ruthless modernisation of the brand by banning popular DJ Fearne Cotton from being heard on the radio station either, saying she was "no longer relevant" for their target audience of 15 to 15 year olds, and it really has nothing to do with her age, at all.
Although Ms Cotton will remain an employee of the station, and continue to present her weekly radio show in the 10am to 1pm slot, a statement released by producers has revealed that loud feedback and static will be played every time she speaks, in an attempt to hide her old and decrepit voice. A trial run of this patent-pending technique on Thursday resulted in a total of just over 78 minutes of the static/feedback combination being played. Most viewers agreed that it was the most intelligent Fearne Cotton has ever sounded, although famous old woman Jo Brand attacked the move for being "sexist and ageist". Radio 1's current poster boy, 28 year old Nick 'Grimmy' Grimshaw defended the decision, confusingly citing incorrect target audience ages: "I really like Fearne, she is just so absolutely lovely, and we always have a great time when she comes to a party with me and Harry Styles, but I'm just not sure she's who 13 or 14 year olds want to listen to. They have people like One Direction and Adele Jr who they would rather listen to." He then went on to add, in a cheeky yet charmingly disarming way: "Oh, and me of course!" Nick 'Grimmy' Grimshaw's predecessor Chris Moyles attempted to comment, but as he was almost 40 when he stopped presenting the Radio 1 Breakfast Show, the station refuses to even mention him on air, a scandal which has provoked a campaign from the Daily Mail.
"A combination of surely all things good that exist, Ed Sheeran has written a song for / 'with' One Direction called 'Little Things', which will be released as the second single from their forthcoming album "Take Me Home" on Monday.
One Direction in colour (pre-Sheeran) Image: 'one direction 371' http://www.flickr.com/photos/29103849@N00/6704958383
The video is shot in faux-artistic black and white, to gently remind you that THIS IS AN ACOUSTIC BALLAD, with all of the members sporting inane, vacant grins that hint at a recent induction into Scientology, or any fucktard religion that requires more money than sense and a set of radioactive-glow teeth. They all get a shot at singing, which is arse-numbingly lovely, and allows a good chunk of the song to pass by almost completely unnoticed with nothing making any particular impact, until halfway through the second verse when this abominable snowfuck of a voice cunts its way into the song, sounding like a cheese grater has been taken to the vocal chords in a desperate attempt to inject anything into the meaningless singer-songwriter lyrics about loving a girl no matter what she looks like, because One Direction are definitely like that. The song is so bed-wettingly dull that it can only ever reach people on a subliminal level, meaning horse shit Sheeran-isms such as: "You can't go to bed without a cup of tea, and maybe that's the reason you talk in your sleep" will have most listeners rushing to boil the kettle without having a fucking clue why, a faint throbbing pain at the back of their head being the only reminder that any music is playing at all, as their subconscious begs them to pour scalding water into their ears in a semi-hopefull but ultimately fruitless attempt at the escapism of deafness." said Noel Gallagher. You can form your own opinion by listening to the song below:
