Review: 'Little Things' by One Direction

"A combination of surely all things good that exist, Ed Sheeran has written a song for / 'with' One Direction called 'Little Things', which will be released as the second single from their forthcoming album "Take Me Home" on Monday.

One Direction in colour (pre-Sheeran)
Image: 'one direction 371'
 http://www.flickr.com/photos/29103849@N00/6704958383

The video is shot in faux-artistic black and white, to gently remind you that THIS IS AN ACOUSTIC BALLAD, with all of the members sporting inane, vacant grins that hint at a recent induction into Scientology, or any fucktard religion that requires more money than sense and a set of radioactive-glow teeth.

They all get a shot at singing, which is arse-numbingly lovely, and allows a good chunk of the song to pass by almost completely unnoticed with nothing making any particular impact, until halfway through the second verse when this abominable snowfuck of a voice cunts its way into the song, sounding like a cheese grater has been taken to the vocal chords in a desperate attempt to inject anything into the meaningless singer-songwriter lyrics about loving a girl no matter what she looks like, because One Direction are definitely like that.

The song is so bed-wettingly dull that it can only ever reach people on a subliminal level, meaning horse shit Sheeran-isms such as:

"You can't go to bed without a cup of tea, and maybe that's the reason you talk in your sleep"

will have most listeners rushing to boil the kettle without having a fucking clue why, a faint throbbing pain at the back of their head being the only reminder that any music is playing at all, as their subconscious begs them to pour scalding water into their ears in a semi-hopefull but ultimately fruitless attempt at the escapism of deafness."

said Noel Gallagher. You can form your own opinion by listening to the song below: